meet The Bean

The Bean's nickname dates back to before her birth, to that little grainy picture of her we got when she was about 13 weeks in utero. She had a sweet little turned up nose (still has), a funny brow-ridge inherited from her Dad (mercifully non-existent now), and she appeared to be the size of a bean. A little kidney bean with a perfect little profile. We didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl, so we took to calling this little creature The Bean. And it stuck. Even years later I would walk into a room and tell her Dad, "The Bean is sleeping soundly," or "The Bean doesn't look too well today."

The name is more nostalgic these days than descriptive. Perhaps The Bean Pole would be more apt, given that she is a ten-year-old who is all elbows and knees. And hair. Long, thick, beautiful hair that is at times stunning and elicits stares from boys (oh, I see them), and at times snarls up like a three-year-old's whose mane hasn't seen a brush in a month. She is in that in-between zone right now, being both a child and on her way to adolescence.

The Bean, once we had figured out how to get food into her, was an easy baby. She slept 10 to 12 hours a night by the time she was six months old. She would crawl into her room to play on her own when she was ten months. She hardly ever had tantrums. She listened well and was quite quiescent. Unless it had to do with us helping her. You see, The Bean has an independent streak a mile long. Her first full sentence was "me, stairs self!" At 18 months, she didn't want anyone holding her hand to go up and down the concrete stairs to our apartment. If I tried to put her shoes on for her, she would kick and scream and then simply take them off so that she could do it herself. It drove me mad.

Besides the independence, The Bean is a sweet, kind hearted kid. She is sensitive, but doesn't show it. Outgoing, but has the voice of a fairy: light and ephemeral.

I am careful to describe her because I don't want to put her into a box. As parents we sometimes fall into that trap. I know I do it, but I want to try to keep an open mind. After all, I know that I am a bundle of contradictions; why would I not allow my child to surprise me from time to time? But people ask: are your girls similar? My clear and quick answer is: no. Not at all. And then I try to describe them, and I realise that I am putting them in boxes. The Bean is the quiet one; her sister is the boisterous one. The Bean is X and Boo is Y. The list could go on and on if I let it. So let me simply use a stream of consciousness approach. The Bean is: soft, gentle, sweet, kind, understatedly funny, wickedly smart, loving, generous, affectionate, and thoughtful. There are negative things, too. She takes a long time to complete tasks, which drives me to distraction. She is easily frustrated, but it may be the bourgeoning hormones. She rolls her eyes (she gets that from me). She stomps off. But she forgives quickly and eagerly.

In short, she's a great little person. Tales of our adventures will surely paint a fuller picture than this attempt to capture her here.