thankful

Being grateful, thankful, opens one's heart to the world. It is easy for me (for anyone?) to fall into a self-centred trap. Today, it's more worries about the house. I'm painting the porch, hoping that the 40% chance of rain holds and we don't get wet. I worry about the bills, about the house, about my job, about my health, about doing it all on my own, about whatever. Yet I can pull myself away from the downward self-pity cycle quickly: I give thanks. It's impossible to give thanks for just one thing, and I cold go on and on with my list.

The various activities of this Thanksgiving weekend alone showed me some of what I have to be thankful for:

• The kids' youth group: every two weeks, the girls hang out with their young friends from our church and another local Anglican church, and they work toward their social justice goals with their peers. I am thankful for our church community.
• Saturday morning movie: my good friend, R, gets free tickets to various events and often shares them with us; it's a great time to hang out with friends and free entertainment. I am thankful for R, and for his wife S who is also a kind friend, and their kids.
• Gardening: I dug up an overgrown flower bed, and made a new one out of a strip of lawn that needed beautifying. When a friend, M, heard that I was looking for perennial plants for my garden, she talked to her Master Green Thumb husband, J, who dug up his garden and gave me - literally - more than I needed. I am thankful for these friends and for what will surely be a garden that is now ready for the winter.
• Dinner with Mom: the girls and I headed to my mom's for Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday. For the four of us, she cooked a whole turkey (for her and me), and a quiche for the girls, plus mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, heirloom carrots, turnip, stuffing, rolls, two pies and pinwheels. We should have invited ten other people over. I am thankful for my Mom, and for plenty to eat.
• After dinner with Mom: tradition in our family has it that you play games after a big family dinner. The Bean, Mom and I played Yatzhee - a game we always played with my grandma. I am thankful for happy memories and for continuing traditions.
• Sunday morning at church: a dear friend, C, who welcomed me into her home and family at a time when my whole world was falling apart, invited me to Thanksgiving dinner with her family. I would have jumped at the chance, but I had plans to be out of town. I am thankful for C and for the love that she and her family have shown me.
• Working with my girls: the girls helped with the garden and brought various junk item from the front of the house to the back, which is a bit of a project since we the only direct access to the back of the house is from inside, so they had to walk around the block. I am thankful for my generous and hard-working girls.
• Drop off at Dad's: this has become my least favourite part of the week. I know that it means I'm going to miss my girls. But I am lucky to get along as well with their Dad as I do. And I am lucky to get the amazing good-byes from them. I am thankful for beautiful hugs.
• Visit with friends in Montreal: I drove out to Montreal Sunday evening to visit with my oldest friend, M, and her partner. I am thankful for our friendship, and for their continued generosity to me. I couldn't be better supported emotionally and through all the work I have, even if I had a sister. Je t'aime, M.
• Painting the porch: I got home in time to put a last coat of paint on my porch. I am thankful that the house improvements are now mostly cosmetic. I am thankful for the strength to get the work done. I am thankful for how lovely my home is looking.

The joy of gratitude has already pushed away the worry of the coming week. It is good.